THE TUESDAY OF NOW

It is yet another cloudy day in Georgia punctuated by fits of rain. The Bradford Pear trees (most of which are on "death row") are a brilliant orange that almost lights the backyard like Thanksgiving ornaments. The trees are on “death row” because they encroach upon the gas pipeline space which is verboten. The gas line crew has been ordered to uproot and destroy them without compassion. The weather and "death row" trees are another reason to enjoy the "now" and to learn to stop resisting the impermanence of all things - both those we wish to cling to and those we wish to hurry along out of our lives.

I keep a lot of activity going right now placing carrots of expectations before me prodding me along this path that I sometimes trod with leaden feet. Now and then my mind wanders to thoughts such as "What will I do when I can make only so many social engagements before my friends find something else to do or when I don't have a home project or acting or writing project going. What then? Or will it come to that? What lies ahead? What will become of me?" I don't know. All I have is now. Anxiety awaits me if I look too far ahead. Grief awaits me if I look behind.

I am not the only one who asks these kinds of questions or have these kinds of thoughts. All of us go through similar ones at times.

So being thankful for what is and what I have and what I am and what I dream of begins to open my heart and my joy to the moment at hand.

I am thankful I have a wonderful home and neighborhood to live in. I am thankful I have visitors coming to brighten this next week. I have my health. I have friends. I have this web site for now to express myself and to connect with kindred spirits. I am enjoying my church. So much to be thankful for. So very much. And it is all now.